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How come we never heard about these?

So, the WWE invited the three presidential candidates to promote themselves on April 22. Each of the nominees EMBARRASS themselves, making ridiculous allusions to common wrestling catchphrases.

"Do you smell what Barack is cooking?" Actually, no, no I don't...

It's really okay to sacrifice one's dignity for votes.

Just look at Dubya.

The first in the "Why being an American is embarassing" series

Juno's wholesomely misguided little sister

In the shadow of teen pregnancy maven Diablo Cody's Juno stands the The Secret Life of the American Teenager, a new "teen drama" (I HATE that phrase; it's redundant) from the makers of 7th Heaven.

It looks like Juno all over again... well, minus the snarky dialogue, soundtrack full of quirky indie pop, and talented actors. Okay, so maybe there isn't much in common except for the whole pregnant high-schooler... but you should probabaly ask me if I intend on watching this blatant ripoff of a movie that I love so dearly? I'll get to that.

Here's a fact: I, among thousands of girls in the WB generation (for lack of a better term, don't judge), watched the religious propaganda that is 7th Heaven... religiously. It wasn't particularly well written, but Aaron Spelling always provided us with generic happiness and plasticine smiles.

So, yeah. I'm going to tune in. Hopefully it won't be a complete waste of time, but if it is, at least we all get to see Molly Ringwald become ravaged by time.

Is anyone else getting a Zoey 101 vibe at the 25 second mark? Let's all draw comparisons to Jamie Lynn Spears. Go.


The Secret Life of The American Teenager premieres July 1 on ABC Family.

Hi.

Hi there. Welcome to my blog, which may or may not pique your interest. Sit down, grab a glass of lemonade. Would you like a cookie?

That's unfortunate. The only sort of cookies I have are web-oriented.

So, this blog is just going to serve as an outlet of sorts... for things I find pertinent, or impertinent. Luck of the draw.

Well, my dear non-existent readers, the path that lies in front of us is as rocky and undetermined as the Oregon Trail (for the Apple II). I, your fearless Greenhorn leader may lead you astray. I may die of dysentery. You may fall off the wagon due to low morale. We might lose a few oxen when we try fording that river... but you know what? This metaphor has gone on for far too long and what I'm really trying to say is... I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say.

Get used to it.